Bristol and me

We just saw the movie "Marley and Me" and it turned us into blubbering fools. I swear a sound was about to erupt from me that has only come out of me when I attended my mother-in-law Pat's funeral service. It's just that the movie so mirrored my life with my dog Bristol, from the loss of a baby, the craziness that puppies bring into your life and how attached you get to certain pets as they turn into old and wise pets. I remember my friend Mark calling Bristol, Mr. Einstein, because he had the white muzzle and the sweet good-nature of a very wise old man. Mark was deathly afraid of dogs but never Mr. Bristol. He was such a sweet and at the same time protective dog, attached fiercely to his people. The movie showed how the dog was an important part of the family and it brought back such tender moments for us. Kelly cried too and she's never one to cry in movies. She even wondered if she would cry at Grandma's funeral. When I got home, I had a message from a friend that the movie turned into a blubbering fool too so I knew it touched us pet owners in a special way. I'm lucky now to have a second dog that is as wonderful as Bristol was. Oh, how I go on and on. My family of non-pet owners would be rolling their eyes right now if they were reading this, thinking I was crazy. Sometimes allergies and life keep you away from pets. Kelly asked me as I left tonight, how can some people not ever have a dog in their lives?

Support each other

I'm pondering why it is that whenever girls or women gather in groups of 3 or more, there sometimes is a strange thing that happens, where meanness or unkind gossip happens. With pre-teens, I've seen the three way call happen where they don't let the third girl know someone is secretly listening in and prompt the other girl to say disparaging comments about the other girl. I just don't get this. I've heard grown women tell another woman unkind things that were said about her when she wasn't present. Would someone say something unkind if they knew it was going to be repeated? I think not but it happens all the time. Men don't seem to do this - they aren't that analytical I guess. Women, we've got to let the unkind gossip stop. We need to support each other even when we are different from each other. We all have our differences, our strengths and our weaknesses. Can we just celebrate these?

Eye of the Tiger - Obama

Wow, history was made tonight. Absolutely amazing. Diane wanted me to blog about "Eye of the Tiger" and keeping your eye on the goal as it pertains to our working out. I guess we can apply it to the Presidency as well as our commitment to working out regularly, can't we? Obama had his eye on the goal of Presidency and succeeded, never getting bogged down by the threat or fear of racism but rather the goal of uniting this country.

I am so grateful that Julia participated in "Sojourn to the Past" last spring, retracing the Civil Rights movement in the South. We all cried when she related stories about the heroes of the movement - John Lewis, Medgar Evers, Fred Shuttlesworth and of course Martin Luther King and many others. We cried when the kids came off the plane, singing "We shall overcome" and it has happened tonight. All men are created equal and it is evidenced tonight. Let Freedom Ring!!!!

Jumbled thoughts while driving

Strange feeling these days. Listened to the song "Landslide" by Stevie Nicks on the way home and feel that the lyrics are so true "children get older and I'm getting older too". Up through my 40s I felt alive, attractive and vital. In my 50s, when I walk in a room with either one or both of my daughters, I blend into the background wallpaper, like I don't exist. I'm happy that they are so beautiful but at the same time, sad for the loss of my youth and all that it means, both joyful and sorrowful. I don't wish for the angst they feel at times with their relationships but do miss the excitement. I reflected that through my 40s I always wore a signature scent and these days, my signature scent is Vaseline intensive care. I am a crone, an elder, a wise woman. How can I be a crone and recapture the joy it is to live, I wonder? Do crones just sit back and give advice or do they live as well?

After the song "Landslide" finished, "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield came on - the lyrics "Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten" and I reflected that while we are alive, we need to live, no matter how old we are - the rest is still unwritten. We can affect all the people in our lives still. Think of those wonderful grandparents that give great love to their grandchildren. Oh lord, am I a grandparent? Not yet, but I am a grand aunt and at that age. I sometimes wonder if I didn't have children if I'd be so aware of time passing? Interesting that this song followed Landslide. Feel the rain on your skin, no one else can feel it for you, ......

Powerful intepretations

My friend Lynn and I found this wonderful box set by Debbie Ford called the "Best Year of your Life" at the Sacred Path Bookstore in San Mateo. It's a package that contains 52 cards for each week of the year, a workbook to log your progress and a meditation CD. I decided to gift my friend Marsha with it for her birthday since she's far away in Indiana and this is something we could do together each week. Pick a card and act on it. Last week it was "lighten your load" clearing out physical and emotional excess. Marsha went to town with this suggestion. I only cleared out the trunk of my car and Julia/Kelly's old room but it still felt good to get rid of stuff. The instructions say that if you're not up to a particular card in a week, throw it back and pick a new one. This is such a cool gift for a birthday if the person is really going to do it.

This week it's "Set powerful interpretations" which is to change the way you perceive a past event that was hurtful, painful or embarrassing. I decided on my father's death - I mean, how could you put a positive spin on losing your precious dad at such a young age? Here's what I came up with: Dad died at his birthday celebration, dancing with his friends and family, how wonderful is that? Doing something he loved, what could be better? Dad left us all with his sense of humor which has really come in handy when life gets tough. Even at my mom's funeral we all shared a laugh when Roy Orbison came on singing "Mamaaaaaa" in the limo. Gallows humor. Dad left his wonderful sister Rose and her family to share our lives with us. He maintained his relationships so they would continue with his family after his death. He was a "hands on" dad at a time when not all dads were - he took us all to the beach, including the neighbor kids on his day off. He cooked for us, took us on Sunday drives, to the circus, watched TV with us. One thing I've come to realize that was very special was his patience with my mother's illness. I cannot, for the life of me, ever remember him getting angry with her. He accepted her illness - an amazing feat. One I had great difficulty with myself. I wanted a normal mom. A great lesson for all of us when dealing with mental illness. It is an illness and not something that a person can turn off. He taught us how to love both family and friends. For the short 13 years of our time together, I do have many, many happy memories. Thank you so much Dad. I am grateful for our time together.

It's been said that how a person responds to tragedy will predict how they work their way through it. Look at the positive, the lesson, the things to be grateful for in any given situation.

Erin - shower the people you love with love

My neice Erin was hit by a truck early last Sunday morning. Unbelievably she is doing better than we all could have hoped, although she is still in the hospital a week later. Sunday to Monday, amazing as most hospitals seem to kick you out too quickly for recovery to happen. She seems to have sustained a broken fibula - a bone her cousin John and I are all too familiar with breaking. And a painful surgery to put pins in the bone to hold it together. And problems with her knee. It strikes me how important it is to take the time to tell those you love how much they mean to you all the time.

Just weeks ago, not even a month ago, Diane, her mom, Karen, her auntie, Natalia, her cousin, Julia and I traveled to spend the weekend at Erin's place, taking in the play "Wicked", singing Karoke, listening to singing waiters and laying by the pool in her apartment building. (the pool area reminded me of "Three's Company" along with Mrs. Roper) It was magical, wonderful, restful and fun. I was so impressed with the way that Erin treated the people around her, whether they were family or wait staff or Peter John, Cisery, the monkey in Wicked. She has a way of thanking people so sincerely and enjoying their company that I couldn't help but write her a note to tell her so. And I am so grateful to spirit for prompting me to write that note. Life can change in a second. We are so lucky to have this joyful sprite in our lives even though at the current moment she is in tremendous pain (at a 25 on a scale of 10). Like the James Taylor song, shower the people you love with love!

Rain, Pincher bugs and the present moment

Julia, Kyle and I headed to an evening of Yuppie camping at Costanoa this past Friday. I call it Yuppie camping because the tent cabins are already set up for you, the beds come with heated mattress pads, down comforters and pillows. Each tent cabin has electricity and they provide you with towels. The near-by comfort station (their name for bathrooms) come equipped with heated floors, showers, sauna and hair dryers. There is a roaring fire with adirondrack chairs around it if you want to roast marshmellows. Now this is what I call camping in my advanced age. Within walking distance is a very good restaurant with wine and beer and a fully stocked general store. It gets very dark at Costanoa very quickly once the sun goes down. I had to walk to the general lodge area to find Kyle and Julia when they arrived, with my handy flashlight - that's the one thing you do need to bring.
At some point during the evening, Kyle started to get sad and down, feeling he let everyone down and just couldn't seem to pull himself out of the sad feelings when all of a sudden, it started pouring rain. He and Julia exclaimed, we are so happy it's raining - we love the rain! The rain brought them right into the present moment and then just a few minutes later when pincher bugs started coming out from behind the wood beams they really were in the present moment. Julia was freaked out about the bugs but found that when she shone the flashlight on them, they hid behind the wood. Kyle spent the next 30-40 minutes helping the pincher bugs leave the tent. Everyone was in a much better mood after the rain and the pincher bugs and I thought, how funny that mother nature can easily bring you right to the present moment, something all the great spiritual teachers try to tell us. When we're listening to the rain and trying to persuade pincher bugs to leave, we forget what happened yesterday and what could happen tomorrow.
If you're interested in Yuppie camping, Costanoa is a great place to stay. But warning, it does have bugs and animals - we think there was a skunk or possum under our tent, trying to escape the downpour. I think the poor critter kept hitting its head on the floor, its ceiling under the tent. They have family style tents that face each other and a firepit between them so you don't have to go to the comfort station.

September 27

I'm creating this Blog on the fly, never have done this before but if Gretchen (Scratchy) can do this, so can I, can't I?